Seven Weeks High Needs

(Visitor's experience):

My baby daughter isn't keen on sleeping at all. During the day she takes less than an hour. She wails until she gets what she wants. She can survive maybe 5 minutes without attention and being attached to the mother. She wants to see everything from a sitting position and hates being on her back or naked or bored it would seem.

However the prospect for her mother, of being unable to study (which she needs to do and several other things) is impossible for the mother.

If you don't mind losing every waking hour in thrall to your new child who cannot signal anything, gesture or anything else meaningful leaves both parents terribly trapped.

No she doesn't like her father's voice much either. So I support her mother who is torn because she has some responsibilities to herself and others as well as to her darling baby.

So servicing the needs of our daughter may not be fully possible. And doing so with double doses of sleep deprivation is impractical for us.

It's not a hugely positive story but it is genuine.

~ Anonymous

Comments by Positive Parenting Ally

Dear father,

Thank you so much for your submission and your honesty about your life with a high need baby.

In my view all kinds of experiences are valuable for sharing. It doesn't matter whether you feel good or bad - it's real. It's life at the moment. And just hearing about someone who is going through the same kinds of challenges can be hugely comforting.

I myself can definitely relate to most of what you're talking about, especially the exhaustion part. I specifically remember actively counting the days until my baby son was 3 months (two weeks and four days left, two weeks and three days left etc. etc.), as I had heard that things would get easier at 3 months.

And they did get easier around 3 months, but not over night. One thing at a time got slowly more easy to deal with and all of a sudden I noticed I wasn't counting the days anymore. That was the indirect proof I had that things were slowly turning and getting more bearable.

Thank you for sharing, dear father, hang in there. We are all only humans and doing the best we can in tough situations.

All the best,
Birgitte (Positive Parenting Ally)