Acceptance and Willingness Is My Key.

by Nena
(Australia)

I sit here typing this as I’m holding my high needs baby and rocking, as it’s the only way she will sleep.

My second daughter is 4 months and from the moment of birth has not let go of me. I thought I’d get a break, a rest from carrying and growing a child. My husband could help, it wouldn’t just be me.

My daughter had a different idea. She needs more guidance, love and acceptance in this world that I didn’t think I could offer. I still feel so different. This world how could I possibly guide a child.

Acceptance and willingness I suppose is my key. To know I’m here to help this beautiful girl blossom into this world. To know she doesn’t cry in pain, it’s not my fault, I’m not failing it is just her. She is here to make me into a better person, more kind, caring and compassionate. I can learn from her what I lack to give back to her and the rest of this world.

I don’t need to fear her journey in this world, if she will ever be ok without me right by her side. I need to give her my love, share my strength and watch her bloom.

In that I also need to recognize and accept I’m not supermum, I can’t do this alone, there is a father who loves her just as much as me and they need to bond in their own way, and I need to let her go.

I need a break, a respite, some inner nurturing. It is not a failing, it is a way of strength.

To all the mumma out there with high needs babies thank you for sharing your stories as it shows I’m not alone as I sit here rocking a child that just needs to be held.

Nena

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